Dating 2019-style might sound incredibly easy to the unfamiliar eye. With an abundance of available singles and a plethora of dating apps, individuals can seamlessly Bumble and Tinder their way into the heart of another. The idea of finding the love of your life at the swipe of a finger sounds easy enough, but in reality can be quite different.
Not finding anyone of interest, finding a lot of interest but for the ‘wrong thing’ or not getting any interaction at all can render a single to feeling quite hopeless about finding love.
On-line dating fatigue can set in with singles feeling like looking for love is not only a waste of their time but the emotional energy invested is simply not worth it. This can lead to the exaggerated but fearful thought of being destined to be stuck in alone every night vicariously living through Netflix rom-coms.
So for the singles out there who are experiencing on-line dating fatigue, how can you still hold the hope of finding the right person?
Get back to the basics. That’s what.
Do More Activities That YOU Love
People put so much effort in finding someone that ticks all their boxes of what they want in a partner, that they neglect ticking off all their own boxes. Putting off your happiness in your ‘coupled up’ future doesn’t serve you so stop neglecting the creation of your perfect life in the now. True happiness comes from within and you need happiness in the present first. Start working on doing the things that you most enjoy. It might be going on a holiday, partying with friends or learning to dance. Don’t wait for someone else to come along to do these things. Doing more activities that you personally enjoy (but often look for in other people) will life your spirits. Then you’re likely to either enjoy being alone more or attract someone who is a bonus to you, rather than someone to complete you. Nurture your soul first before you nurture a soul mate.
Know Exactly What YOU Want In Your Mind
Have the intention of finding that special someone and being specific about their qualities is a useful tool. Know what you want. Focus in on the qualities that are going to be right for you - down to traits, age, where they’re located, what they may look like and the specifics of their lifestyle. Most importantly, know how you want to FEEL when you’re with them. Elevate your consciousness in the present to the same level as what you want, so that you are on the same frequency as your future special person. Many people are waiting for that special person to make them feel happier and loved. Don’t postpone these feelings to the future; make a point of feeling them now on purpose. Even visualizing or daydreaming about the way you want to feel around that special someone will do the trick. Imagining what you want allows you to feel happy in the present and the better you feel, the more likely you will attract that person in good time.
Telling Others YOU Are On The Look Out
People are not mind readers and unless they are overtly told, they’re usually not on the look out for a match for other people. So let your friends, family, colleagues or the barista who makes your cappuccino know that you are currently single and that if they know anyone suitable, then to flag you. People know other people, and they often know them quite well. This is good as any on-line filter. So from a ‘knowing’ point of view, and a safety point of view putting the ‘shout out’ out to your posse is going to help assist you in the long run. Even if they don’t know anyone currently, they will think of you in the future if that special someone becomes available.
People were meeting their life long partners way before on-line dating was invented. So don’t lose hope. Nurture yourself, know what you want and let people know about it.
Old school dating will eventually get you what you want – without all the swiping.
(AS APPEARED IN BODY + SOUL)